vikingwriter

Most of my time lately has been spent papering my name and resume on the National Parks Service website/HR inboxes, not to mention the Forestry Service and the Bureau of Land Management and Fish and Wildlife. It's late winter - park ranger job openings are everywhere and I'm hoping to get one by the power of osmosis... Still applying to every library tech job as well, not to mention everything in Citizenship and Immigration and USAID. I'm redefining 'cast a wide net.'

The rest of life has been work, snow, the flower, snow, and work.

Oh, and I re-watched Battlestar Galactica. I hadn't seen it all the way thru since it first aired and I'm full of all sorts of feelings and have so many questions for those in charge.

Monster Snow forecasted for tomorrow. Monster Snow meaning 5 to 8 inches, of course. And it has threatened to shut down my day already, but I refuse to let it until the sun comes up and I see how bad it is.

Rather productive for a Lazy Day today. Lots of laundry and putting things away and discovering things (gifts to myself and the parental from a friend's September trip to Ireland) and clean sheets (I finally unearthed the flannel ones, and not a moment too soon).

Still no sleep and it's nearly midnight and I don't hold out much hope beyond last night's two hours. The frustration is maddening.

Sadly, my life is much the same as it was in September (insomnia, insanity, delerium).

That being said, I did just return from Hawai'i, which should explain all three. (Okay, so I returned a week ago - I should not still have insomnia. But that seems to be Me.)

Lots percolating on the Job Front. Crickets on the Romance Front (which will become a problem if the Pen Pal returns in March as expected). Should be able to get health insurance once I do my taxes.

If only I could kick this jet lag and this sneaking feeling that I should be on a beach or trekking thru a rainforest somewheres...

My life is currently a combination of insomnia (mine and other peoples'), insanity (mine and other peoples') and just general delerium (mine and everyone else's). There has been much activity, but I find myself in the same spots amid the settling dust. My little cousin is married and has kids now (I mean, he's been their dad for some time, but now it's all official, or at least I assume there was/will be an adoption as well as a wedding). I've had some time off for birthdays and family visits and a visitor from The North. I'm ready for fall. Ready to start re-reading Outlander and the ensuing books. Ready to pick and eat and cook with apples and butternut squash and pumpkin. Ready to stock and clean and hoard and gather for the winter. Ready to wear sweaters and boots (after I buy new boots, all I have are snow boots) and scarves.

Problem is I still have to mow the lawn and weed and it's hotter than fall should be because it's only just turned September.

It's about time for the Annual Birthday 'What The Feck Am I Doing?' Reflection. So far, so good. Not exactly where I'd like to be, but still appreciating the Work Trifecta as well as some good friendships and time spent with my mamasan, who isn't too terribly aggravating, despite my Summer Insomnia making me easily irritated . . .

I would like my life to be less settled and a little more exciting. I wouldn't mind not being single anymore, but am still choosy enough to be okay with unattachment. I would like the Work Trifecta to pay better, but I didn't pass out this summer, so I have some savings and this winter will be a better one.

I'm pondering applying for VISTA positions, quite a few dealing with Veterans' issues, which seem similar to refugee resettlement issues. In my observation, anyway.

Am currently enthralled by Hell On Wheels (or possibly Anson Mount and Common. Like I said, being single ain't necessarily all it's cracked up to be).

Right, off to read and try to sleep and possibly succeed. Headed to B'more for my birthday weekend, so I may have news, but otherwise, here's to another two months of Radio Silence! ;)

Life's still pretty much work, home, try to sleep, work, home, try to sleep. Write the boy, try to organize my house and life, look for different work, lather, rinse, repeat.

Trying to write some more and have gotten more walks in with roomie gone, so I guess that's good and different.

To sum up . . .

Work.

Try to sleep.

Fight allergies. (Need to switch meds already - I guess to Claritin?)

Write the boy nearly every day.

Work.

Get my hair hacked off.

Try to muster energy to take care of yard (going fairly well), finish moving in to my bedroom (faltering), lose weight (stalled).

So, yeah, good times all around!

Now it's off to do other things that will hopefully lead to sleep.

Still fighting with my allergens and wishing I was in Minnesota where they got snow. I bet their germs are all dead as well as their pollen. Meanwhile, my blue car is now green. Bah humbug!

In other news, Tiki Bar opens tomorrow and I'm working 3 to 8ish (we're closing at 8, so if we're super busy it could be more like 9, whereas if we aren't, it could be more like 8.15. It just depends). And I have a therapy appointment at 9 am. I see a nap in my future, especially since it's 11 pm right now and I'll be in the kitchen tomorrow night (I'm pretty sure), so I'll need to be on my toes especially much.

Room is coming along in bits and drabs. Watching Jericho because I really miss that show. Trying very hard to find other people interesting because I really miss the boy. And I don't think the e-mailing every other day is really helping matters, to be honest. But it's a really bad habit that I can't break, and since he's not slowing down . . .

On that note, off to do some stuff so as to take advantage of this insomnia. Yay for accomplishing things!

Went from Zyrtecing in the morning and Benadryling at night to Zyrtecing twice a day and now I'm Zyrtecing in the morning and Allegraing at night for about another week and then I should be able to Allegra at night and be good. It just occurred to me today that it's been about a year since I started Zyrtec, and that's usually all I get with any given allergy med (which is why I have the Allegra on hand - bought it last fall when it was on the cheap). Good times!

Figured out e-mail snafu with the boy, so am still confused but at my usual level, not some ramped-up girl hormone affected level. Go me!

Too many library books, not enough time!

Have the extension form, think I'll send it in tomorrow.

Yeah, my life really is that boring. Couple job possibilities, but in the interest of not getting too excited and/or not jinxing myself, that's all I'll say until I know something.

In the meantime, watching Band of Brothers so I can regain some perspective on how awesome my life really is (living in a house, not getting shot at, running water, access to hot food, not being occupied by the Germans, that sort of thing).

I've been levelled low by allergies pretty much this whole week. To the point where I bailed on seeing the Cherry Blossoms despite having convinced my mom to come with. This was yesterday and I'm still pretty peeved. But we shall cross our fingers that it does NOT thunderstorm on thursday and that we can go next saturday.

The boy posted a message on facebook, so I know he's alive, but I have no idea if he got the picture of a birthday card that I e-mailed him and I haven't gotten an e-mail from his new address, so I don't know it and it's very weird and disconcerting not to be able to share these weird mundane boring things from my life. Basically I miss him. I know, big shocking surprise there!

Headway happening on job search front, I suppose. News to follow.

Little to no headway on writerly front, which is probably because of the attack of the killer allergens, I suppose. And then the vast physical productivity before that. Of which I could still use a shot, so as to get my taxes done, among other things. Though I am tempted to file for an extension . . .

Saturday was slow here at the house, but we got a few things done. Sunday was slow at work, but we made some money and got a few things done. Then when I was off, we had a fantastic meal my mom made for us. Winning all around!

Today is a creepy Scottish foggy day, so I'm in spit heaven. Supposed to get up to 62, however, so I see a long walk in my future after work, which makes me even happier.

Worked tonight, after the most perfect Spa Day ever and my feet hurt and my legs hurt and damn, am I tired. I was also hungry, but I've since eaten and at 11.30 I still show no signs of sleeping.

Basically, it seems The Season has begun. Which is awesome for both scheduled hours and tips. Yay! Now to find a pair of shoes that won't break the bank and that will stand up to at least the summer (but preferably into winter).

And speaking of winter, I'm pondering a January-March writing sabbatical in Ireland or Scotland. Of course, if I don't save enough money (or look like I will) by, say, October, there's always Newfoundland or Nova Scotia or Maine or some other close-enough-for-me-to-drive-to-it stormy wintery location where all I have to do is write and occasionally meet interesting people . . .

Trying to fall asleep watching The Philadelphia Story and remembering the first time I watched it. My last year at Mac and it was on the public television station. I got it from the library, but think I need to own it now.

Discombobulated day today, but managed to Do Some Things as well as volunteer and work and even nap. So, I guess I can't really complain.

Not that I can, anyway, as I'm reading The Orphan Master's Son: A Novel. It's set in North Korea and makes any possible problem I could have ridiculous and petty and small and stupid. Which I guess is a good perspective if you're not dying or unsafe or self-harming or whatnot . . .

On that note, off to drool over C. K. Dexter Haven.

Had a terrible headache at Jane's and we stopped working so she could work on me. She had a vision of me as the Queen of Swords. According to this tarot primer I found, my actions are Honest (faces the truth, even if unpleasant; is up front with everyone; likes everything on the table; plays by the rules; avoids lies and deception), Astute (sizes up a situation quickly; understands hidden motives and desires; is difficult to fool, trick or con; figures out the unspoken rules and agendas; is quick on the uptake), Forthright (is direct and open in all dealings; gets to the heart of the matter; acts without pretense or guile; is straightforward and no-nonsense; can be candid when necessary), Witty (has a delightful sense of humor; diffuses awkward situations with a funny remark; never takes anything too seriously; laughs at everything, including him or herself), and Experienced (has seen and done it all; has strength due to life's hard knocks; is free of self-righteous judgments; has realistic expectations).

While watching tv today, I made a comment about how all newly-married couples are blissfully optimistic and mom asked me if I thought that was true, like she was surprised. Not sure if it's cuz I didn't say 'blissfully ignorant' or something equally cynical or if she doesn't think it's true. But with a failure rate of 50% and the likelihood of living to 80 and the pressures of life, anyone who takes that leap is incredibly optimistic. And if the notion of spending the rest of your life with your favorite person doesn't fill you with bliss, there's either something wrong with you or they aren't really your favorite person. And your soon-to-be/new spouse should definitely be your favorite person. I mean, because chances are really good it's all gonna go to shit faster than you can say 'pre-nuptual agreement,' so enjoy the honeymoon phase! (There, I have returned to my cynical roots.)

And I think that's enough for the day . . .

Am halfway thru season two of The Walking Dead.  Slowly becoming more and more hooked.  So far, still no nightmares.  Also still managing to get things done and spend time with people and go to work and generally live my life.

Work kicked my arse yesterday and again today (even though today was deader than dirt because it was our first monday open since November and snowed till 11 and then spit rain all day and was generally a crap day to be outside).

Rather non-productive day today.  I mean, I went to work and all, but that was about it.

Oh, and I saw Flight, which I thought was really interesting.  And I totally see how it did shit in the theatres.  Stupid American moviegoers . . .

Also watching Breaking Dawn Part 2.  Not sure how I feel about it now.  Except maybe like they totally could've done the last book in one movie?

Oh, and I'm in bed with new sheets and a freshly washed duvet cover and duvet.  But that's all been clean for, like, a week and I was just unlazy enough today to change the linens.  Go me!

Oh, oh, oh, and I made soup.  Bean and potato.  Too salty for me, but damn tasty regardless.  Definitely a Make Again with no salt (just the German veg broth powder, which I didn't add until after the salt because it was all very By The Seat Of My Pants) and some corn at the end.

On that note, off to snag a cherry turnover for dessert.  Night all!

Bunch of extra hours this week, so am a bit more scheduled in my time management.

Working out plans for a trip to Prince Edward Island for my birthday because my mom is awesome.

Getting sucked into The Walking Dead because it's hella addictive and crazy good.  So far, at any rate.

Longish walk today after work and feel pretty good, despite tweaking my knee just a bit.  And despite the wind.  And sort of chilly temps.  (Though we're due to get some snow Monday.  Happy Spring!)

Making a new list for the things I want to be and/or have in my life in two years. This list is much more concrete, much less about me as a person than the last one. Mostly because, and y'all might want to sit down for this because it's a shocker, I like who I am. And I like a lot of things about the way my life looks right now, but not everything, so that's what I'm looking to change. Simple, right? I mean, really, how hard can it be?

Kind of a busy weekend.

Saturday was lunch in Arlington with a friend of mom's from Germany.

Sunday was Saint Patrick's Day, work and dinner and drinks with a friend from St. Paul in for the week for work.

Monday was Jane's.

Today was Jane's and stuff around the house.

I'm also hopping on the The Walking Dead bandwagon. I'm kinda diggin' it at the moment, but we'll see how it goes I suppose. Also working on some plans for next winter. I have a couple of ideas and they are both wicked awesome, if I do say so myself.

Been looking at old journals from just a couple of years ago and am *shocked* at how different my life looks.

Okay, so I live in the same place and have the same kind of job and have the same love life. But inside I'm a completely different person. I AM the Me that I wanted to be all those many moons ago.

Which means that in a year or two, I could be the Me that I want to become.

I found my hope by looking backwards. (I *knew* being a history major would come in handy someday, even if it's just to excavate my own emotional life.)

That is my revelation for the day. Which brings me to my quote of the day:

"Revelation is the marriage of knowing and feeling."

-Marya Mannes